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Going Through the “D”… Rebuilding Self-Confidence After Divorce
The ubiquitous application for anything and everything … Please check one … Single. Married. Separated. Widowed. There it is … the “D” word. Divorced. A knot in the stomach and lump in the throat appear the first time a newly divorced individual is forced to check that box. Even if ending the marriage was amicable, the black and white letters “d-i-v-o-r-c-e-d” can conjure up feelings of negative self-worth, insecurity, and painful memories of a relationship that no longer exists.
No one plans for the big “D” in relationships. Country singer, Mark Chesnutt’s familiar lyrics, “Goin’ Through the D and I don’t mean Dallas,” references the challenges of divorce albeit through the notes of an upbeat, light-hearted chorus with a catchy tune. Divorced. It’s a term that our grandparents didn’t whisper much less even consider in the worst of marriages. Divorce just wasn’t socially acceptable, and in many families it’s still not an option.
If 50% of all marriages end in divorce, why do people still tie the knot? Because they believe in true love and hope that THEIR marriage will last against all odds. This quality makes us authentically human. We make decisions. Take chances. Sometimes winning and sometimes losing … But we always have an innate ability to start over and change. One of my favorite yoga instructors said, “It doesn’t matter how many times you fall out of a yoga pose. It only matters how many times you get back into it.”
There is no better analogy to describe the experience of divorce than the metamorphosis of a butterfly. Being divorced can feel strange and awkward because you are “different” than family and friends. Feeling unattractive, unworthy, and even insignificant after a divorce, many stay inside their cocoon, hiding from other people because they have lost self-confidence and do not like whom they see in the mirror. A caterpillar looks and functions much differently from a butterfly, yet we celebrate the growth and beauty of its transformation. Different doesn’t mean negative, broken or beyond repair. Different can be better than before … A rebirth, a renaissance, an awakening of the soul.
A personal image consultant has one primary objective—helping clients develop an image they are proud of on the outside that is a true reflection of the inside, rediscovering their unique attributes, skills, and qualities. It is an amazing transformation to experience and observe–Leaving the previous life behind and emerging as a beautiful butterfly, displaying a new image that exudes confidence and positive energy as you begin the next chapter in the book of life.